Living From Memory


Living From Memory

By Hila J. Esters

I use to think that living from memory meant living in the past.  Unfortunately, until I learned how to truly live life, I allowed my memories, good and bad, to do the driving.  The good memories caused me to reminisce and the bad memories only created unpleasant emotions.  This made me realize that I needed help to move on.  One day a thought floated up to me in my spirit.  ‘How can I help you change your life when all you see is where you’ve been?’

As if on cue, thoughts of my past began nudging at me.  With force, they were actively seeking my permission to be imagined and ‘come alive’.  I knew that if I gave in to these thoughts, my imagination would link them together causing me to hear the same words and feel the same feelings.  Linking these past thoughts would also display past memories in scenes I desired to leave behind.  From experience, I also knew that to repeatedly entertain these thoughts would cause my emotions to intensify all over again.  What would ever change?  Nothing!

There was no way I could progress in life by constantly reliving the events of my past even with the feelings of wins or the strength I gained from the fight back of losses.  How could I learn to stop looking in the rear view mirror while moving forward?  Again, the thought floated up to me, ‘How can I help you change your life when all you see is where you’ve been?’  Yes, I needed help to control familiar thoughts from my past, but I also needed help to see and interact with the unknowns on my new path.

With God, all things are possible.  Matthew 7:7-8 and Luke 11:9-10 assure us that he gives when we ask and everyone that asks receives.  He allows us to find what we seek.  As we knock, he opens the door.  These scriptures tell me that I’m not expected to choose my new path, but to take the initiative to receive it, then find it and enter in.  Recognizing, receiving and then taking action with the vital information and direction I needed to move forward with confidence, was no longer a major problem.

By faith, my job is to create a new memory by using my imagination to create each completed scene.  By visualizing myself in the scene and feeling as though I am already there, I focus my completed forward moving thoughts in this new direction.  With each step I take, I create a new scene.  Surrounded by my new environment, I ‘live’ there until all becomes real to me.

Finally, I heard the words, ‘It’s time!’  The new path awaiting me was only a moment away.  By faith, I buckled up with the intention of only following God’s lead by waiting to hear his direction before taking the next step.  Instead of seeing, feeling and recreating the past, I was living from memory by seeing, feeling and creating my now.